Independence is not just for men Attachment theory suggests that a good relationship is one in which partners are always comfortable turning to each other for support.It is, of course, important to maintain a sense of self in a relationship, but Gray’s advice does a disservice to both men and women.Thanks to a recent comment, we're getting back to it.To do this I am recommending you also watch a new video, PG for those of you who worry, the first and perhaps last video featuring a therapydoc who poses as me, of all people, on the Everyone Needs Therapy You Tube Channel.His advice also privileges the “male” way of being in a relationship, essentially telling women that if they want to be in a committed relationship with a man, then they simply need to accept being ignored and rejected when their guy feels like pulling away. Focusing exclusively on gender limits our understanding of romantic relationships Although we occasionally find that men’s and women’s approaches to, thoughts about, and behaviors in relationships differ in some respects, presenting men and women as being from different planets and speaking different languages is untrue and potentially damaging for relationships - it suggests that men and women cannot communicate with each other to solve issues, be equal partners, or both get their needs met in a relationship.
to date he has been attentive and seemingly interested and consistent.
Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.further thoughts or insight from you male creatures greatly appreciated as I continue to work at making sense of you and/or avoid being taken for a ride!
assuming you're familiar with the idea of the male intimacy cycle/rubber band theory ref: am wondering what people think of how/when this applies to a new relationship.
Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc.
Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing...
Gray claims that, “for most men, intimacy is like an all-you-can-eat buffet. They need time and space to feel hungry again.” He suggests that this is a “normal, healthy” relationship cycle for men, and that their female partners should give them space when their guy feels the need to pull away – he suggests women get a pedicure or do some gardening to pass the time (he’s right ladies, all we need is a pedicure to replace an absent lover).
According to Gray, women are allowed to contact their partners during this time, but he advises “speaking his language,” a strategy that involves appealing to his sense of being the expert by asking him for help or advice. Here are 3 reasons why you should be very wary of this advice: 1.
I have no idea what has triggered the sudden gathering of questions but one of the most common issues with the assertion that ‘men are like rubber bands’.
John Gray essentially believes that men have an intimacy cycle that is comparable with a rubber band, which stretches (this is when the man pulls away) and then eventually springs back, which is when he wants to get closer.
And then they come back when thier need for autonomy is fulfilled. (Or women who have observed it.) please give examples. Or do they maybe just come back when they need some s*ex??????
It applies to me somewhat, but not because of a fear of commitment or being hurt, but because I just wanted to be left alone.