Newly divorced and dating

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Being a newly divorced woman isn't easy, but it's a journey that we must all go through when our marriage ends.

This, too, means you’ll have a more realistic and mature approach to your future relationships.5. And that’s incredibly valuable for your future partners in life, because you’re clearly humble enough to accept criticism and question yourself.7.

It didn’t matter how skinny I was, I was the big 4-1.

I was officially “middle aged” and in need of Botox and eye glass “readers.” Why would someone want me when they could have one of the million 30 year olds living in the city? I felt like a failure: I managed to screw up the most serious relationship I ever had. I couldn’t even manage to save my marriage for the sake of my two very young children. There’s a lot of guilt and self-hatred that goes with getting divorced.

Being someone who lost about 10 pounds right off the bat, I felt anything but pretty and sexy and confident. When I got separated, I temporarily became a person who doesn’t define who I really am. I was very stressed because I now had to think about what I was going to do for work, with no current computer skills and no belief in myself. I was coming out of a toxic situation: I think when two people are in an unhappy, unhealthy marriage, (which could be for years) both are losing self-worth every minute they stay together. Because you are around this person constantly who you think hates you, or who is belittling you, or who you know doesn’t want to be with you anymore, or who is condescending, or mean.

Or, maybe you are the one who wants out of the marriage.

Maybe you hate yourself a little bit because of that.

Being in such a volatile and unhealthy relationship had really taken a toll on how I felt about myself. Hello 40’s: This might apply to any woman, married or divorced, but it’s hard to ignore the number 40.

Even though we could only pick five winners, all the entrants offered excellent words of wisdom.

In the spirit of "Passing it On", we've decided to share their inspiration and insight to make the journey easier for other newly divorced women.

A female friend of mine got divorced recently, and confessed to me how much she dreaded now having the “divorced” label hanging over her head as she re-entered the dating pool, like some modern day version of the scarlet letter.

That she, too, had failed to make it work, and men would recoil from her in disgust, running for the nearest 20-something as soon as possible. That’s an attractive trait to men looking for a worthy partner.2. You took a swing at love, rather than just playing it safe on the sidelines.

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