When a woman thinks that she only has one chance left to meet a guy, that her biological clock is ticking, then she’s apt to fast forward a relationship in her head without really knowing anything about the guy, said Anita Chlipala, a dating and relationship therapist in Chicago.As soon as you think there’s not enough men to go around, and that you’ll never find the right one, then you’ll convince yourself that he’s “the one” and start acting accordingly, introducing him to your friends and family, she said.
Hearts and brains work at different paces and communicate on different frequencies.The beginning of a relationship is always really exciting.You’re still getting adjusted to the fact that the person you’ve been crushing on feels the same way about you, which makes you feel giddy with happiness.Don’t imagine long holidays away together, honeymoons, holidays with your family or living together if you don’t even know the guy yet.If you do, that means you’re reading way too much into his early words and actions and no relationship can withstand that kind of pressure.Consider the following dating scenarios, where two women are at lunch, talking about their new boyfriends: “He’s great! He pops in all the time at my work, which my boss doesn’t like and which makes some of my co-workers nervous, but they’re just jealous. I even caught him checking my cell phone when I was coming out of the bathroom. The cops got there and of course, they believed her story that he was trying to choke her. Our sex life is great too, although when he’s drunk he can be a little rough. He’s always asking what I’m doing and where I’m at and who I’m with. It was an accident but my boyfriend practically ran over and tried to fight the guy. He told me he had been arrested before because his old girlfriend had falsely accused him of hitting her. Anyway, he said he was just trying to get away from her when she bit him on the arm.Although we’ve only been going out for a short time, he’s already told me he loves me. Pictures of me are all over his Facebook page, even ones I don’t remember posing for. Even when we’re not together, I always seem to run into him, like at the gym, or when I’m out with my girlfriends after work. I know that all sounds weird, but it’s okay because I’m kinda flattered by the attention. I know that all sounds weird, but it’s okay because all this just shows how much he cares.” Let’s recap, using our Danger Score Cards: First guy is a stalker; second guy is an abuser. We were at this bar the other night and some guy bumped into me and spilled my drink. We had a lot of drinks one night and we got to talking about our past relationships.When you make decisions based on your own skewed expectations in dating, you often miss the opportunity to meet the right person.Find out if you move too fast in dating, and what to do about it.