I recently got a reader request for a post about the joys and struggles of ENFPs and INTJs in relationships.
I’m thrilled to research this pairing because they seem to have a natural attraction, but there aren’t many resources out there for them.
It's not cheap for us to love someone, and we're often fearful of attaching value to mere "feelings" in case they turn out to be fleeting.
Most INTJs won't admit to caring for someone until they are completely sure it's genuine.
Problem is, we have not yet developed any sort of vocabulary to describe what's going on in our hearts.
There is only committed or uninterested and seldom a middle ground.
In studying the male INTJs I know, all of them met their life partner later in life, after the full force of their individual vision had come to the fore.
It is as if once the vision for their life was taking shape, that is when they decided it was the right time.
INTJs seek to future-proof everything in their lives.
A preference for closure and finality entails that when an INTJ settles down, they are settled.
I’ve never dated because I’ve never seen the point — I’d rather skip the adverts.
By then our feelings are so obvious to us that we don't think they're worth mentioning.
This lack of vocabulary can make other people feel incredibly insecure.
Note: I recently discovered the original website this list went to has been deleted; fortunately, I cached the list. INFJs are, by definition, rare, reserved, and unlikely to initiate anything, which means that many of them can end up alone and misunderstood.
To help with things, I’ve compiled a list of points which I think would be of great use to anyone considering dating someone who identifies as an INFJ.