Stifling Statistics It's no secret that children of divorced parents are more likely to get divorced, says Christina Steinorth, California-based psychotherapist and author of "Cue Cards For Life: Thoughtful Tips for Better Relationships." Studies indicate that daughters of divorced parents have a 60-percent higher divorce rate in marriages than children of non-divorced parents, and sons have a 35-percent higher divorce rate, says Steinorth."Part of the reason is that when parents are divorced," she says, "it seems to send a message in a non-direct way that divorce is acceptable."To combat the unfavorable odds against your child's future relationships, Steinorth recommends having age-appropriate conversations with your children about the general reasons behind their divorce.Divorce affects family members in many different ways, both positive and negative.While many children can foster healthy relationships post-divorce, some may experience challenges maintaining future relationships after coping with their parents' divorce.Children have many feelings about their parents’ divorce. For children, there is often a strong desire for a reconciliation between you and their other parent.Your children may perceive a new person in your life as someone who could not only interrupt that reconciliation, but interfere with your time with your them as well.Parents who have successfully incorporated a mate have managed by listening to their child when s/he expresses concerns or fears about their changing world.They are observant and watch their child's behavior.
An older child may also stray away from the notion of marriage altogether to avoid the possibility of divorce in the future.
It was not an easy decision to leave and change the life your children grew up with.
There have been many logistical issues and emotions to deal with as you have organized new living arrangements. They may worry that, if their parents can stop loving each other, then how hard would it be for either parent to stop loving them?
Successful parents realize that kids love their parents, married or not.
When divorce rips the child's world apart, the fear of abandonment becomes a reality.
According to Steinorth, parents can temper children's pessimistic attitudes about relationships by modeling cooperative behavior.
"Parents can continue to model civil, caring and respectful behavior toward each other," she says.
Your relationship with your children’s other parent has ended. Perhaps you have felt some combination of hurt, anger, depression, relief, guilt, uncertainty, or hopefulness.
Maybe you’ve taken the time to address your feelings and are ready to think about getting into a new relationship, or maybe you left your relationship in order to begin again with a new partner.
Aside from losing mom or dad, parents work and finances are limited.
Dating and remarriage further threaten their world, they are asked to shift loyalties and accept a surrogate.