Jewish food is delicious when done right and, again, by "right" I mean exactly the way it was prepared for me each holiday growing up. Though you may be astounded by how many ways things that happened this year can be related back to the summer of 2007, remember my fondness for camp is rooted in my unbreakable fondness for tradition and my love of all things family. …And your trip to Israel was probably great too but it wasn't as great as her Birthright trip. And there's a major red line you cross when you call someone a JAP.
It's a result of years of killing it on the bar mitzvah, camp, and college circuits. Worried about your potentially awkward upcoming work dinner? Seriously, there was never a better summer on the planet than Lake Year '07 with my 36 best friends. And if you want to make jokes about how Jews are cheap, (1) I'm going to assume you're kind of an asshat who laughs at all kinds of rude things and (2) you're not the kind of person I want to date anyway.9.
I was a "nice Jewish girl" looking to date a "nice Jewish boy" when I met him.
He was a nice secular non-Jew from Seattle whose religious identity was rooted in memories of hanging stockings on Christmas and eating chocolate on Easter.
In Hebrew School, they taught all of us little Jews that our people were God's "chosen people." They also taught us lots of other things, like how to read and write Hebrew, and which foods are kosher, but they didn't really do anything to prepare us for a lifetime of dating non-Jews.
Probably because good Jewish kids are supposed to grow up and marry other good Jewish kids.
Please know I'm going to bitch my way through anything that's not large and smelly in the best way possible. If you can't handle me at my mild mishegas, you don't deserve me at my best kvelling … All things people typically look for in a partner.12. I feel like I have to end this with a "l'chaim," so …
Nothing says Ayshet Chayil like her ability to lovingly prepare a Seder plate. Don't think this means Jewish women are controlling.
Your wife is just highly efficient and on top of everything, from remembering your mom's birthday to telling you when your car is due for an MOT.
A few weeks ago, Elite Daily brought you The 23 Qualities Your Jewish Husband Must Possess. While every man is presumably looking for different qualities in his wife, we possess outstanding ones that any sane man should want. Our ability to drive 4×4's and park them horrendously is commendable, and we're more than willing to hold charity events in our homes.
We Rachel Weisz’s and Natalie Portman’s of the world know that in order to snag an Adam Brody or Jake Gyllenhall — AKA a Torah-reading, vacation-loving and reasonably tall Jewish husband — we must also deliver the goods. In fact, from the shtetl, to the ghetto, to right here in New York City, we've devoted our lives to it, having watched our mothers do exactly the same.
Your scooped-out bread ball with low-fat cream cheese is offensive to me. Consider this your friendly reminder to not call people things if you don't really know what they mean.10. It's in my nature to react to things largely and loudly and with lots of emotion. The whole mitzvah thing becomes ingrained in you, giving you a conscience, integrity, etc., etc. It's this loyalty that makes me an incredible friend and an incredibly solid partner.
Not only will I assume you're an asshat, I'm going to think you're an uneducated one too. You know when you go out of your way to recycle and do good other things and you're like What you did is called a mitzvah and Jews are commanded to do them by the Torah. It is my job as a Jew to live life to the fullest in all ways and I take that responsibility very seriously, man.13. Maybe it's the fact I've had someone call me something terrible because of my religion in the past or maybe it is just what I've been taught from a young age, but when I have my people, I'm with them for good.
(With advance notice and a little cajoling, of course, because we're independent, busy people, too.)Behold: all the reasons why Jewish girls make the best wives.
Sorry to start with the obvious, but it's got to be stated.
But remember: put up a good argument or we will tear it apart.
If you want our hearts and hotness, make us crack a laugh. We’ve survived deep tragedies and hardships as a group of people. When you do something wrong which inevitably you will do — hey, we all make mistakes! It's usually subtle but if she’s piling it on, call her on it!